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Lack of self-confidence is the largest single factor that holds people back, in the professional as well as personal sphere. If you lack self-confidence, it means that you don't believe in yourself and that you don't think your life can be what you want it to be. This type of thinking limits us in all of our pursuits; over time, it can also lead to serious problems such as depression and hostility. That's why it's so important to take the time to build self-confidence, both in ourselves and our children. If you succeed in building self-confidence fairly early in life, you will always benefit from it. That having been said, it's also never to late to start to build self-confidence.

For some people, the best place to start is by taking a course or workshop, or going to therapy for a while to work on confidence issues. In particular, if you think your problem stems from experiences you might have had when you were younger, and if these feel deep-seated and intractable, therapy might be the way to go to get you 'unstuck', so to speak. But for other people, there are some ways to build self-confidence that you may not have thought of.

The first is easy - or at least, it can be: Have fun with what you do. If you are enjoying your work and leisure activities, if they are really right for you, you are more likely to feel confident and comfortable. Over time, the success you have in these activities (and it is much more likely that you will be successful if you are already enjoying what you do) will allow you to build self-confidence - after all, when you are receiving positive feedback from everyone, it is hard not to feel confident. This effect may be temporary, but if it happens repeatedly, it will make an impression.

Second, pay attention to your relationships. Do they make you feel good, generally speaking? If you are with someone that makes you feel smarter, better looking, and more fun than you usually feel, chances are that the relationship is helping you build self-confidence. For many of us, the opposite is true, and those relationships are the ones you are better off without.

posted by phoenixrnlr  # 2:37 PM